Monday, March 3, 2008

The Other Cheek.

While dropping JJ off at the kids club at the gym today, something happened that really ticked me off. I was waiting in line to sign him in when a mom and here three children came barrelling through the door. Her daughter, a little older than JJ, went straight up and wrapped her arms around him. I thought, "HOW SWEET!" Then she leaned in for a kiss. The Kids club worker rushed over and said.. she bites! While I was trying to figure out what she meant, JJ suddenly yelped and recoiled showing a large and deep teeth mark on his cheek directly below his eye. Honestly, she almost broke skin. Now, I know that toddlers play like this. They slap, push, and scratch. Usually insuch cases, you seperate the children and make sure your child know not to do that again. Then you apologize to the mom if she is there. It isn't your fault.. it is the child's age and part of how they learn cause and effect. Understanding all this, I scooped him away from the vicious child and waited for her mother to scold her or to swoon over my child.. or both.

I got nothing. Her mom literally did NOTHING!

Angrily, I stood next to her and remarked how I thought she was going to kiss JJ. Her mother (who admittedly is a little consumed with all her children) just mentions how she "never kisses... only bites." Am I supposed to feel sorry for her that her daughter only bites???
What the heck, lady.... Leave your devil child home... or at least be sure to let other mothers know to not let their much more sweeter children hug her. Clearly she was a repeat offender as evidenced by the kids club worker's futile warning!

JJ's eyes quickly dried and he was playing happily in now time... Jaws marks and all.. Meanwhile, I was quietly thinking of a whole slew of insults to fling at her, instead I went up the stairs to lifting class.

Tonight, as I write out this story, I wish that I hadn't have lost my temper and I am glad I didn't say anything more to her. I am sure she is a good mom and I can't imagine having three children to keep track of. I think children are the best at this. They are the ultimate forgivers.. always offering their love and quickly forgetting hurt feelings ....or bites.

21 comments:

LindsSawyer said...

What happened to your Memory Keeper post?
Funny article, I would probably have said something....good for you!

Gustogirl said...

Ya, 3 kids are hard, and you can't control what your kids do, but you can control yourself. At least she could have said a heartfelt sorry!!

Anonymous said...

I would have pimped slapped her.

Rob

We are THAT Family said...

OMG! I think you handled yourself SWIMMINGLY, I would have thrown her down! Btw, thanks for visiting my site, I enjoyed yours!

Spammon said...

Rob is too nice. I would have grabbed the mom by the face and chewed a chunk right out of her cheek. "How you like it?"

Erin said...

Who knows what her situation is but her children are not learning the right lesson from her. If my children ever hurt another child, I always make them go and say sorry, and then we have the "how would you feel" talk.

thekirnancrib said...

OH MY GOSH! you are a saint. i used to work in a daycare and that happened all the time... but I never got a response from a parent like yours, though, and I always felt like it was my fault! your grace and composure is so admirable, even if you weren't that way on the inside. :)

shauna said...

Kaleb was a biter and while he went through that phase I was a hoverer--watching his every move so I could swoop in and intervene if necessary. If he ever got the chance to bite someone I would be head-over-heels apologetic and would make Kaleb apologize himself (and remove him immediately). Now he was my first, so I admit I probably couldn't hover that well now, but YOU handled the situation admirablely. Way to go mom. It looks like JJ is learning good lessons.

And THANKS SO MUCH! I got my easter swap gift today and LOVE it! I was in great need of a calender and I've started using aprons lately (haven't in the past much). My kids will love all that fun stuff. You ROCK!

KiMnRoB said...

I'm lovin the "Leave your devil child home" comment! Ha ha!
I think you were too gracious. She should have at least apologized for her child's behavior.

Beanie said...

Good for you to hold your temper. It is not an easy thing to do when someone attacks your precious child in any way. Good thing the skin wasn't broken. JJ might have had to have a tetnus shot:)

Nap Warden said...

It gets hard to keep your temper sometimes...Good for you...

Jayna & Family said...

For reals- I have no patience for Moms who "don't get it." I think the hoverer commenting mother above had the much more "gets it" approach! I mean, they are toddlers, and it's hard to understand being the mother of biter if you haven't got one, but I think we can all see that this situation calls for an effusive apology. I mean, it's a terrible situation, but it could have been quickly soothed over if she just would have had the correct response! So I agree...Kudos for taking the higher road!

MomOf3 said...

My little nephew attended daycare with triplets - and they all bit! He was getting bitten every other day until my sister and her husband insisted that my nephew be separated from them. Part of it is the age and part of it is parenting/childcare workers. If they KNOW it happens, they need to watch that child constantly! I would have been angry too!

Natalie said...

No excuse - 3 kids or not, she should not be biting. I have a baby biter on my hands who doesn't quite understand discipline, but I still don't just let it go when he bites me. It's not a stage that her kid needs to grow out of, she needs to know it's wrong. If she can't handle disciplining 3 kids, she shouldn't have 3 kids. I'm harsh, I know. I probably wouldn't have said anything either.

Linds said...

I don't think I would have handled it as well as you did! Sometimes I'm a ticking time bomb.

Angie*Steve*Owen said...

I have a huge pet peeve of parents who don't watch their children...you are too kind.

pinkmorning said...

i am proud of you. one thing i have learned is i never regret being kind, even in situations when i feel i deserve to be unkind...

MamaGeek said...

You did good! I would be livid. Poor little JJ.

DAVE & STEPH DIAL FAMILY said...

I would not have been so nice!! That mother should have done something. That is why the little girl keeps biting obviously she doesn't think it is wrong. Good job on keeping your cool.

DAVE & STEPH DIAL FAMILY said...

I would not have been so nice!! That mother should have done something. That is why the little girl keeps biting obviously she doesn't think it is wrong. Good job on keeping your cool.

Grant & Kami said...

I can only imagine what I would have done in that situation. I need to follow your example and turn the other check. While I was reading your post I felt myself getting really mad that the mom didn't do anything about her child, because I would have made it a point to let my child know that its not polite to bite. But reading your last paragraph I realized that you're right we have no idea what it would be like to have 3 children to take care of and who know how any of us would have handled the situation at the time of it happening. So I have to thank you for showing me that although you may be mad at the situation you need not judge the person until you have walked a mile in the shoes that they are walking in.