What is that smell? I was just blowing my hair dry in preparation for the wrestling match I had planned with JJ (aka lunch at a restaurant), when my hair caught fire.
You are probably thinking that I was either a) holding the dryer WAY to close to the follicle or b) using some antiquated drying machine that has no place in 21st century bathrooms. My answer would be NEITHER! I seriously just bought this hair dryer like months ago, and the stinkin thing was literally four to five inches from my head.
Why then, do I have an orange-y stump of frizz where my bangs used to be?
My answer is this: I am meant to NOT BE PRETTY. In all seriousness, it goes beyond just the singed locks---this week I found my first wrinkle! This is no laugh line or other type that merely shows up when smiling or frowning. This is a true wrinkle... one that doesn't go away when I drop all expression. What is with that? Aren't your 20s supposed to be the high point?... the never-again reachable peak to which you strive for the rest of your valley-dwelling life?
To top everything off, I have some serious under eye circles going on. I guess that I was vaguely aware of their existence, but when I went to ULTA while visiting my sister in Portland and sat down for a mineral makeup makeover, the first thing the kind...er, honest... cosmetician said was... "well this may not quite cover up those 'mommy eyes.'" What??? I have one child... and he sleeps through the night... how can I already have "mommy eyes?" Trying ever so hard to mask my hurt, I playfully bantered.... "I guess that is the penance of parenthood." Honestly though, I think the phrase "over the hill," was derived from the proverbial peak of perfection we all climb throughout our lives. Once there is no hope of reaching a higher point, you have no place to go but down. If this is the case, am I proof that this can happen a little early?
Why can't the universe just give me this one? Can't we just make one little exception? I would appreciate if sweat pants and t shirts could be couture, baby snot and drool perfume, and dark circles chic. Either way, my hair is now burnt and more disturbingly, I guess I have to fork over some dough for a new hair dryer.