Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Just a Thought

Given my situation, I was probably biased as I watched the Today's show's coverage on "young Marriage" this morning. I was married young by most people's standards (even mine) at age 19. They prefaced their story by saying that a recent study suggests that the average age of people entering marriage continues to rise. This year the average was 25, as a opposed to 20 several years ago, however, the divorce rate has not gone down at all.. in fact it continues to rise. It caught my attention, so I watched the story, even though I never seem to give my attention to the Today show anymore. Although their "teaser" plainly stated that there is no link between young marriage and divorce, the entire story proceeded to try to refute that study. Needless to say, I found the coverage upsetting. I know that the Today Show's segments tend to be very short, Reader's Digest-esque snippets of much larger pictures, however, the few examples of young marriage that NBC chose to portray were failed Hollywood marriages, and a disgruntled divorce'. At the very least, it was not a balanced view given the fact that they did not show an example of a happily married young couple, at the most it was yet another attack on marriage in general as their "experts" talked about the institution being more about passion than necessity these days, and concluded by saying, "if people marry young, the bright side is they still have time to find themselves and experience life when it doesn't work out." It may have been a flippant comment, but, in essence, what their "expert" guests basically said that there is no growth or self-discovery within marital bonds. Sadly, these were MARRIAGE COUNSELORS!

I am not about to exert that everyone should get married as young as I did, but I thought that the argument the Today show made was a weak one. Please do not show me Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey who invited MTV's cameras to document the first months and years of their failed marriage. Or, if you are going to site Hollywood marriages, make it fiar and shoe the older marriages that failed to, (Jennifer Anniston- Brad Pitt, Denise Richards-Charlie Sheen), I think there are many other reasons for divorce in Hollywood than age, thank you very much. Next, of course the woman who moved to New York after her youthful marriage broke blamed age for her failure in marriage as well. No one wants to admit that they were selfish, prideful, or unwilling to change and that is why they wre divorced. I am not saying that divorce is NEVER the answer, in fact I do think that in certian cases, it is the only one. However, divorce happens regardless of age. I would say it has more to do with ability to self-analyze, adapt, and willingness to work at it. We are almost 6 years and still going strong!

9 comments:

the daily knack said...

I used to watch the Today show, but had to stop. For some reason I always hated their reports. Like you I got married young according to their report at 21. When you know it is right, why not go ahead with it? The fact that they compared Hollywood marriages to real life couples is baffling!

Good post.

thekirnancrib said...

amen. when you know, you know. I got married when I was still in college, and I had just turned 21. why would I have wanted to wait a year or two (OR MORE) when I had already found the love of my life?... to start my life out of college independently and then work someone into my life? Instead, we built a life outside of college and such together and learned how to be on our own, together. :) 3 years this october! :)

mind if I add you to my faves?

Rachel said...

I got married at 21. It will be 8 years this august and it feels like we are still newlyweds. It is personality, not age!
I can't stand biased news reports. Is there any other kind?

BigLoser said...

What they should have pointed out is that marriage isn't for everyone...and this has nothing to do with age. You can be just as immature at 35 as you can be as an average 19 year old.

I actually work near the NBC studios (can see it from my bosses office), but I don't even attempt to watch - even when I'm off for the day. I think much of what they cover is what they THINK people want to be shocked by, which isn't exactly a good thing.

mama k said...

I just got POed this morning about another today show peice on breastfeeding. But that's a whole other post. They are very slanted on their "stories"

Anywho, I agree with you. I was married at 21. And you know what? I have one of the "happiest" marriages of all the people I know. (I base this on all the
b!tching my friends do about their husbands.) It is not easy. Love is a commitment. It can be hard when you are young 'cause you have a lot of growing up to do. But to say across the board that young marriages fail? That is just crazy.

shauna said...

Marriage is such a personal thing based on many, many factors. To single out age as the make or break factor isn't looking at the bigger picture. Unfortunately that's what most of those programs do.

Judds said...

HELLLLLLLLLLLLLO Child! This is kind of random so hold on to your seat but this is your old roommate, that is your first clue. Second you bit my sisters lip. Yes you guessed it this is Brittnee Greene now Judd. How are you? It looks like you are doing and looking fabulous. Great blog.

pinks & blues girls said...

That would have made me really mad, too! You just cannot compare Hollywood marriages (especially Nick/Jessica, who, like you said, INVITED cameras into their home during the first years of their marriage!) and with us normal folk.

I got married when I had just turned 24, and had started dating my husband when I had just turned 22. I just knew he was the right one, and we both have a dedication and a commitment to our marriage that is our foundation.

"Finding" ourselves and "growing"... those are things we do together, as a couple. That is why we married!

Sure, you go through your difficult times together, but that's the "in good times and in bad" part of your vows... and you go in to the marriage knowing your love is strong enough to work through the hard times.

People just give up so easily. And the Today Show seems like they were saying that's a good idea, by the sound of it!

Jane, P&B Girls

Pinks & Blues Girls said...

Rachel,
I couldn't agree more with you! I was married at 23, pregnant at 25... so many people were like "you're so young to be getting married"... but my grandmothers and the "more seasoned ones" all thought it was great. I was say a German Proverb that said "young love, long marriage" and I felt that was me to a T!
Plys... I love the photo of JJ's haircut!!
- Audrey
Pinks & Blues Girls